Distracted

It was 4 years ago this week that we admitted Griffin to the hospital for the last time. I am trying to focus, yet find myself so distracted. Suprisingly I made it through Christmas with out crying. I wasn't until the 27th where i lost my mind, I was so consumed with emotions. I cried and cried. Yesterday, I cried. I even cried at work today. I am just ready for Jan 4th to be here and over. Ready for that 4 year mark to come and be gone. The problem, is that I just miss him. I miss being Griffin's mom. I miss his laugh, his toothless grin, him asking for eggo waffles 4 times a day. I miss it all.